How To Argue With A Liberal: A Public Service
If you have a friend, acquaintance, or family member who’s a liberal-Democrat, you’ve no doubt occasionally been stunned to silence by their vacuous sense of logic.
You’ve probably even held your tongue believing that sometimes it’s better to proceed through life without engaging these “self-appointed arbiters of all things good and right” because it’s always so much better for your, and their, blood pressure.
Of course, they will always perceive your silence for complete agreement, and later you may find yourself thinking, “I could have said “this” to them, why didn’t I say “that” to them. But second guessing your reaction to liberal insanity is neither proper nor productive.
Therefore, as a public service, and the preservation of the self-esteem of conservative people everywhere, I recommend three simple, proven tactics, should you once again find yourself unexpectedly confronted with liberal lunacy.
1) The Passive-Aggressive- Evasion (P-A-E) Maneuver
Like their leader in the White House, liberals are notoriously, thin-skinned, so it’s usually best to let sleeping liberals lie. But, if they feel the need to progressively inform YOU that
Bush & Cheney are singularly responsible for every evil since Reagan, then the P-A-E Maneuver is your best plan of action.
a) As much as is possible say nothing. Smile and nod if you can actually do so. If smiling and nodding is NOT possible ignore them, tune them out, think happy thoughts. Think of Reagan, cheesecake, or anything else that induces inward calm.
If you can make it this far the rest is easy.
b) Just as you are about to say goodbye to your liberal companion drop a little factoid or witty observation on them, then wish them a hasty and sudden adieu !!!
For instance, you might want to say: “Ya know, there’s a provision in Obama’s Health-Care-Bill that calls for the funding of 16,500 additional IRS agents. What’s that got to do with health-care? Great to see ya, bye”.
Or, with winter on the way, you might want to try something like: I heard Obama’s Cap & Trade Bill wants to do away with all coal, heating oil, and the burning of all wood and wood pellets.
Say, don’t you have a pellet stove? My, look at the time. Thanks” !.
If you’re not particularly eager to see this liberal again, you can always employ a more partisan approach. This would be my favorite: “Ya know ever since the 2010 mid-term elections, I can’t
help but feel like Michelle Obama. For the first time since 2008 I’m proud of my country”.
The best part of the P-A-E Maneuver is that you can always take the predictably angry E-mails which ensue, and send it to your conservative friends for a good laugh.
The second effective tactic for dealing with liberals who are willing to share their ignorance is (P-A-I-N-S) Passive-Aggressive Inquisition-Networking-Strategy, is particularly effective in social settings.
At a party, when you overhear a liberal stage whispering their unsought opinion. Take immediate action:
a) Isolate the liberal
b) Disarm the liberal with small talk and compliments
c) Feign interest in their political beliefs
d) Let the questions begin
Remember, since you’re a conservative. you are obviously more knowledgeable than the average liberal, so use it to your advantage. Most liberals have no idea what they actually believe in, why they believe it, or just how little they know. Hence, the best way to get them to realize the error of their ways is to get them to realize it themselves.
This is accomplished by systematically, yet relentlessly, questioning them about their beliefs. This should always be done in as gentle a manner as possible as to not let them know you’re secretly enjoying their inability to defend their heartfelt liberalism.
An effective example would be: I’m having trouble understanding that whole “climate change thing”, but, I hear over 31,000 American scientists reject the existence of global warming. How
is that possible?
If you really want to watch them have a meltdown I’d try: Why do you think more Women, Blacks, and Hispanics are switching to the Republican party? Weren’t two Black and one Hispanic Republicans just elected to Congress? Isn’t New Mexico’s new Governor a Republican Latina?
It’s imperative that you not impugn, correct, or argue with the struggling liberal. As soon as they’ve given you anything even resembling a normal answer, calmly ask a follow up question or
switch topics and ask another question. This can confuse them, especially if they’ve had a drink or two.
Because watching confused liberals can be quite fun, the most difficult aspect of the P-A-I-N-S Approach is attempting to conceal your smile.
But, if you graciously come to their rescue and diplomatically explain your conservative belief, you’ll be amazed how willing they are to see things your way. This could also plant the seeds of what could be a mutual respect and friendship.
However, there are some recalcitrant liberals who are just plain angry, abrasive, and totally unwilling to even discuss any issue, with anyone with whom they do not agree. You know like Obama.
These liberals hate you, your job, your money your house, your kids, the church, the military, the United States, and yes, even McDonald’s. You know, like Obama.
For these liberals, there is only one radical response. It must be delivered quickly, decisively, and without remorse. This tactic should only be utilized once all other arguments and tactics have been exhausted. At this point there can be no compromise……
Count your blessings and enjoy them. Because that’s what annoys Obama most of all !!!